Learning to Love.. March 9 2012

Jesus loves me this I know! How? Why? Because He tells me so! Not only in the Word, but in the Walk.  He walks with me and talks with me! I am a friend of God! I love that song, and I love being a child of Abraham, who is called His friend in the Word.

 

I've had several days, where I've been like...in labor...that's right...labor...like when we women birth a baby.  I haven't been in pain in m physical body, but I've not been able to write to you...and I know God wants me to write.

He's the one who has made me like I am! I can just pour and pour...full to the brim and over-flowing...and then...nothing! In the natural...known as writer's block...but not so much that...as...knowing, "LORD, what do you want me to share? I'm Your vessel...and we both know I can run off in the wrong direction...or...I can say more than what You want said...lol!...that's been the greatest miracle in me...that Being Still and Knowing HE is GOD!!!!

Well in this training camp...learning to listen...to heed...to stop on a dime...like not going on a trip to the Bahamas...Who would think that I would need to do such...but, for now at least, my place is here at the helm of this ministry...under the umbrella of my husband's leadership.  The LORD just made me stop where I was...and pay close attention! Like when the Captain says, "Attttteeeeennnntttttiiiiioooonnnnnn!!" Hear and Heed!!!!

For a couple of days, I was like looking for something...not in the house...or outside...or on the internet...but in my mind...my memory? Was it just out of reach? I couldn't clearly think on it, but it followed me. Do I make any sense? I may not because it's hard in the natural to explain...like an inner yearning for...something...not new...but familiar.

Then, yesterday, I got a glimpse...a picture sort of...and I said, "That's in my book, LORD, I think...I'll have to look it up.  So, I went on a hunt. 

A few weeks ago, I had a friend back up what was on my old computer on one of those little stick things that hold a lot of memory.  The computer had been on the blink, and since that day, I've not been able to get it to stay on.

I pulled out the stick, and I looked for...but could not find...my book.  I wrote the book, publishing it in 1984.  My family helped me...mostly my hubby...with the money we raised.  It cost $1000 to produce 100 copies, and we sold them by word of mouth for $7.50.  No profit. 

It's purpose had not been for profit...it was to share with the Body of Christ.  Funny, how many, many times over these years, I've shared a truth from it.  I still do this. 

After checking the stick, and finding no Teddi's Book, I went to the dinosaur computer.  It took several tries before it would even stay up, and then, I saw that the book had been deleted.  I had done that to save memory to help save the dinosaur, after copying to the stick.

All this time, I had called and had prayer agreement with my prayer partner of so many years, Emily, and we had bound malfunction and dysfunction.  We also had asked El Roi to help us find the book.  El Roi is God's name that He called Himself to Hagar in the Old Testament.  El Roi means all-seeing.

 Now, I went back to the stick, and I searched and searched! Finally, I found it!  I felt sooo loved when I found it!  I knew that El Roi had found it for me! I call on God's different names often...Jehovah Rophe...the LORD who heals me.  Jehovah-Jireh is my provider! Glorrryyyy!!!!

I began reading a little last night…and now again this morning.  I believe God wants me to share with you some Spiritual glimpses…Truths that He taught me when I wrote this book…almost 30 years ago…and that I live by today.  Some Truths I’ve shared over and over.  Some I will share with this audience for the 1^st time.  J

Be sure that this is a prize possession of mine…I learned these Truths at His feet when I was a young wife…my youngest, who is now 31, was a baby/toddler.  The other 2 were older…like 10 and 13.  God was so faithful! As I sought Him, daily, He was there…I would find Him not sometimes…but every time!!

Here’s the 1^st excerpt that I will share…sit back and enjoy…I am! J

                                                                           Chapter 1

                                                                   My Learning Ground

One day, as I stood at my kitchen sink, washing dishes and daydreaming about the Believer’s Conference that was coming to Atlanta, the Lord spoke to me.  I had been trying to decide how I was going to attend as many sessions as possible when I heard Him say, “There is no doubt that you would learn a lot by attending all those sessions; but, Teddi, will such attendance disrupt your home?”

Aaugh!  Why had He asked me that question?  I mean, He knew how very much I wanted to go; He even admitted how very much I would learn – why did He have to ask me that question??  I’d be lying if I said that attending a lot of sessions would not disrupt my home.  

Each morning, I would have to take my two older sons to school, and I would have to leave my baby son with a sitter. Then I could not even stay through all the sessions because I had to pick my boys up at school.   In order to go back at night, I would have to leave them all with a sitter or maybe with their daddy, leaving,  them all at home, not to mention being rushed every night with dinner and not being at home to get my children to bed or to go to bed with my husband.

I answered, “Of course all that running around will disrupt my home, but, Lord, it is only one week, and what’s a little disruption compared to all the wonderful new truths that I’ll learn? Not to mention, how wonderfully spiritual I will feel.  Isn’t the sacrifice worth it, Lord?  Won’t I know so much more about your Word, and won’t I be a better wife and mother for it?”

God’s answer was astounding!  It has made a tremendous impact on my life as a Christian wife, mother and homemaker.

He said: “My daughters try to please me by going to all sorts of religious services and listening to every minister they can. They attend Bible studies and prayer groups; and they buy all sorts of books and tapes, spending much time reading and listening to my men and women.  This is not bad; in fact, it is good.  However, I do not want only what is good for my children – I  want what is best!

Remember, I told Saul that ‘to obey is better than sacrifice!’  Disruption, caused by your running around away from home – to Bible studies, prayer groups and other meetings – brings confusion and strife into your home.  Therefore, that is not the best place for you to learn the truths of my WORD.  Your greatest learning ground is your home!

I will teach you your relationship to me through your relationship to your children; so, you must spend much time with them.  I will also teach you the relationship between Christ and the Church through your relationship with Tim.  Listen to me and I will give you peace.  I will tell you which sessions to attend.”

I began to realize that God had been teaching me Bible truths through my children for quite a while; only, I had not received all of their meaning.  I began to think back, looking at each truth as a piece of a great puzzle. 

As I laid the pieces out, I could see that God was using my home to teach me the vast mysteries of His Word – that through my home He was revealing to me “revelation knowledge.”  These truths had been there all along – for any wife and mother to receive – and, yet, I had not begun to realize their richness nor their depth.  I realized that if I would listen to my Lord as He speaks to my heart, that I could know just “Who is woman?”  “Why did God create her?”  “What is her purpose?”  And, by answering these questions, I would know just “Who am I?” “Why am I here?”  “What is my purpose as a ‘New Woman’ in Christ?” 

Even though God had tried to teach me many things with my two older sons; until my baby son, Franklin, was born – 18 months ago, I had not been a very good student.  One of the first things God taught me was “How to Ask?”

After studying a while one night, only a few weeks after Franklin was born, I found in my Strong’s Concordance that the Greek word for Ask was aiteo (pronounced ahee-the’), which means “a demand of what is due.”  In other words, when God’s Word says, “Ask anything in my name, and I will do it,” it means to “demand what is due.”  Boy, was that heavy!  In my church and in my denomination, that was close to blasphemy or heresy.  I mean, “to demand of God” was unheard of! 

Finally, about midnight, I went to bed, saying,  “O.K., LORD, You’ve got to reveal this to me! I’m very confused.  I know that if your Word says to demand what is due, that it means what it says, because I believe that the whole Word is Truth!  But, Lord, ‘to demand of you’!?”

About 2:30 a.m., my precious baby, who was screaming at the top of his lungs, awakened me.  As I leaned over to pick him up, I heard my Lord say,

“Teddi, Franklin is demanding what is due!  He is your child, and he is hungry.  Does that make you angry?”

I answered, “Of course not, LORD.”

He said, “Neither does it make me angry when you demand what is already yours from me.  You are my child just as Franklin is your child, and, it is my responsibility to supply all your needs, just as it is your responsibility to supply all Franklin’s needs.  I have equipped you to meet your children’s needs, just as I AM equipped to meet all your needs.”

Wow!  What a revelation!  The next day He continued to explain to me that when my older sons, Timothy (11 ½) and Ted (8), say, “I’m hungry, what’s for dinner?” that I was wrong to feel anger or resentment. They are only demanding what is due. It is my responsibility as their parent to supply their needs.

In fact, He said, “Meet all your children’s needs but only give them the desires that will not hurt them.  When I say, ‘I will give you the desires of your heart,’ I mean that as you delight in my WORD, I will place my desires in your heart.  So, as your children learn the WORD, I will place my desires in their hearts.”

 I said, “Lord, what if I can’t meet their needs right then when they ask me?”

The Lord said, “I do not ask you to do anything that I have not first equipped you to do, or provided the means for you to do it.  Your children’s needs are your need, and I shall supply all your needs by my riches in glory just so long as you obey my WORD. THE DOER OF THE WORD REAPS THE HARVEST!

Some good food to chew on...a little meat...huh?? It has been more like steak for me...or a wonderful pork chop on the grill.  It has taken time...to grow in me...but coming boldly to the throne of Grace and asking...has become a life pattern.  The more I've practiced the more I've seen results!!

God is good all the time!!! Woo Hoooo!!!