We dated for 3 1/2 years, before we married. We came from very different families. Mine was active in the Baptist Church, and his did not go to Church. He, however, had many year pins for going to Sunday School without missing.
We married the day after I completed my last class of Junior College...DeKalb Junior College, in fact, in Clarkston. I had promised my mother that I would go 2 years, and that's what she asked of me for her blessing. She made my dress and I had a wonderful wedding.
I could go on and on...but this story is not about me. It is about my relationship with my mother inlaw. Everybody called her Mommy...kids and grandkids.
She was not like my mother...and in the very beginning..I really didn't need another mother for I had a wonderful mother of 4 daughters...I was #3. She, also, did not need a daughter...because she had 2 wonderful daughters that she loved very much and who loved her.
The ways of the two households were different. I had no brothers. My older sisters were married, and I had a younger sister just 16 months younger than me. We had certain duties every day and especially on Saturday when Mama was home. Daddy and I shared cooking. Mama became bed-ridden with phlebitis for like 9 months in a hospital bed right after Tim and I started dating. Three babies were born the first year we dated..Rod, Robert, and Kathy (my first niece).
My Daddy was very affectionate, loving on Mama ...hand-holding, opening doors, buying flowers...and even treating his girls that way. My Mama worked every day, and she was tired in the evenings. The last years before I married, Daddy and I shared cooking and grocery shopping, since Mama was in the bed.
Tim's Daddy worked full-time for a freightline..a dispatcher, and he was a part-time policeman. Later, he became Chief of Police in Clarkston. I know they loved each other, but I didn't see open affection.
As the years went by, I made time to spend with her, for my children's sake. Tim worked all the time, and until we decided Thursday night would be our night to eat dinner with them, my children were missing out on that set of grandparents. I had to make the move...Tim never did.
For years, I felt on the outside. Mommy kept Tim's brother's children, especially the daughter, most always, and Tim's older sister's children saw Mommy much more than mine.
When my youngest son was about 5 or 6 years old, we began taking a weekend off to Jekyll Island. Baba and Paw Paw would keep my boys Friday night and all day Sat. Then Mommy and Granddaddy would come on Sat. evening and stay until we got home.
It was during the time that we were going to Jekyll...before Granddaddy had a terrible accident on a motorcycle, causing some brain damage....that I went to a birthday for Gloria, and one of her daughters inlaw gave her a card that said some words that changed everything regarding Mommy and me.
I was so touched that I made a cross stitch of it and gave it to her. After she went to be with the LORD, it was returned to me and hangs in my living room even now.
When I grasped what this says...when I let it sink in...that the man I loved...the father of my children...would not be my hero..my life partner...my honey...without his mother. Mommy was who raised him...changed him...bathed him...sheltered him...hugged and kissed on him. Mommy was Tim's first girlfriend...Hallelujah!!!
After this memorial..I mean this change in me ...and in her...Jeff had the accident...and at first he could do most things...just had a lot of memory scraped off his brain when his head was dragged down I-20 on the pavement. He was more loveable to me...the anger was all gone...and I spent time with him.
He fell several times...and had to go to the nursing home...after Mommy had a stroke.
After that, she and I were buddies! We share December birthdays, and we would shop and shop...I let her always buy whatever she wanted from me...especially after I was working. She also went with us on our vacation trips during the summer.
I have missed her very much like missing my Mama. Difference is this...Mommy left here more unexpectedly...she had a valve replacement...and it should have gone well. Mother had the same procedure in the same hospital a year later...1998...and lived until Feb 2011.
Mommy went home and was doing ok? Then her incision seemed to be a mess...and when finally the doctor saw her...he kept saying he did not need to see her...it was full-blown staph infection. I can't remember how few the number of days were.
Mommy was a LOVE! Her children and her grandchildren lover her always!
As her daughter inlaw...I rise and call her blessed!!!
Thanks Mommy!! You used to pat Tim's little head, and now I hold his hand. You raised in Love a little boy, then gave to me a man.
I know you are smiling, Mommy. I'm glad to know you are in my cloud of witnesses, cheering me on!!!! :)
Tears flowing...and with a smile...
I LOVE THIS!!! Thank you for sharing it and blessing me. I now have renewed hope with my mother in law and will try for that elusive relationship that I have given up on so many time.s xoxo!!! <3
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